It is that time of the year again, the time for us to set the most well meaning of intentions. The New Year’s resolution!! Ah I had a nice box full of little colorful notes, promises to myself! And then stuff happened…I wasn’t ready, there was no time, too busy, too hard…and the list of perfect reasons goes on. (I tell myself, they are real reasons, not excuses)
This is the time to notice our inner Saboteurs.
A saboteur is that self-sabotaging inner voice that seems to get loudest whenever we are thinking of making a change, taking any step or action that might take us out of our comfort zone. It is the job of these saboteurs to keep us from moving forward, by pretending to keep us safe. A saboteur will always have reasons for why your plan wont work.. It’s risky, embarrassing, hopeless. It has to be perfect. You’re not ready, there’s no time, you’re not good enough, smart enough. The saboteurs want to maintain the status quo, change scares them. A saboteur voice is like a good friend giving bad advice. But here’s the good news, you are stronger and more resourceful.
So what can you do?
- Notice. Take away the saboteurs’ power by recognizing them for what they are. Voices meant to keep you stuck. Notice what they say, at what times do they pop up? Notice the pattern. Notice how you are sabotaging yourself.
- Bypass. Ignore the saboteurs instead of engaging with them. You can never win an argument with a saboteur, their reasons seem convincing and they are good at exaggerating the facts. ”I want to be fit but I really have no time to exercise in my day”. I hear that…and I also know I want to be healthy. That is what I really want…I’m just going to have to ignore the saboteur and see where I can create time.
- Don’t believe the story. How much of it is not true? “I will fail and people will judge me” “ I have so many responsibilities, I just cannot…” What if you could turn your back on guilt, uncertainty and fear? Notice what’s happening for you now in this new space. What possibilities are opening up for you? What could you try, how would you feel, what’s different for you?
Now you are ready to really listen to yourself.
As you prepare to make that great BIG promise, and I like to think of it more as your theme for the new year, ask yourself (and jot down your answers):
- What have been my wins…big and small…this past year? List it all.Did you help a friend, save money, embark on a new career, form a new relationship, discard a negative influence, learn something new, pass an exam…everything goes on this list.
- What did I intend to do, but didn’t get done?
- What saboteur can I let go of?
- What possibilities are available to me now?
- What is most important to me right now, how does it impact me?
And finally…why wait?
What is one easy thing that I can do right now, to get me one small step closer to what I want?
Here you are, in the land of commitment! Just you, in control and at choice.
Congratulations on your wins in the past year, you are ready to write your theme for the New Year!